IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Shop Closures and Openings
The Task:
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Task 1
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Band 9 Model Answer
The provided line graph delineates the annual fluctuations in the number of retail shop closures and new openings within a specific country over a seven-year period, from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is clearly evident that the retail sector experienced significant instability during this timeframe. While the number of shop openings exhibited a consistent downward trajectory, ending the period at its lowest point, the rate of shop closures remained relatively high and volatile, punctuated by a dramatic, temporary drop in 2015.
Looking specifically at the creation of new businesses, the period began strongly in 2011 with approximately 8,500 new shops opening. However, this figure plummeted drastically the following year to just under 4,000. Despite a brief period of recovery leading up to 2014, where openings rebounded to roughly 6,000, the numbers quickly fell back to the 4,000 mark by 2015. After remaining stable for two years, new shop openings hit rock bottom in 2018, concluding the period at a mere 3,000.
Conversely, the pattern for shop closures was markedly different. In 2011, roughly 6,400 retail storefronts shut down. This figure fluctuated mildly between 6,000 and 7,000 over the next three years. The most striking anomaly occurred in 2015, when closures witnessed a spectacular plunge, plummeting to a remarkable low of approximately 700. Nevertheless, this reprieve was incredibly short-lived; by 2016, closures skyrocketed back to over 5,000 and remained relatively steady at this elevated level through to 2018.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Achievement: The answer flawlessly summarizes the line graph, completely replacing the repetitive phrasing of the original draft. The overview perfectly highlights the overarching macroeconomic trends (the downward trajectory of openings versus the volatile but high rate of closures).
- Coherence & Cohesion: Paragraphs are logically organized. One paragraph focuses exclusively on shop openings, while the next details shop closures. Transition phrases are used naturally (Looking specifically at, Conversely, However, Nevertheless).
- Lexical Resource: Uses precise, advanced vocabulary appropriate for describing economic data and commercial trends (delineates, annual fluctuations, downward trajectory, plummeted drastically, striking anomaly, spectacular plunge, reprieve).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Employs a superb mix of complex sentence structures flawlessly while maintaining highly accurate phrasing (“Despite a brief period of recovery leading up to 2014… the numbers quickly fell back…”).
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 2: Alternative Medicine
The Task:
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
Task 2
Band 9 Model Essay
In contemporary society, there is a growing trend of individuals abandoning conventional healthcare in favor of alternative medicines and holistic treatments. While natural remedies can occasionally offer mild symptomatic relief or psychological comfort, I firmly believe that substituting evidence-based medical science with unregulated alternative practices is a highly negative and potentially dangerous development.
The primary and most severe consequence of rejecting conventional medicine is the profound risk it poses to an individual’s physical survival. Modern medicine is rigorously tested through decades of clinical trials and peer-reviewed scientific research to ensure maximum efficacy and safety. When patients suffering from acute or life-threatening conditions—such as cancer or severe bacterial infections—opt for unproven alternative therapies like homeopathy, crystal healing, or herbal supplements, they frequently delay life-saving interventions. This critical delay often allows diseases to progress beyond the point of medical cure, resulting in entirely preventable fatalities.
Furthermore, the alternative medicine industry is largely unregulated, making it highly susceptible to financial exploitation. Desperate patients, particularly those with chronic pain or terminal illnesses, are often targeted by practitioners selling expensive, scientifically baseless treatments. Because these products do not undergo the strict regulatory scrutiny required of pharmaceutical drugs, they can also contain hidden, toxic ingredients or interact lethally with a patient’s existing medication. Therefore, relying exclusively on alternative therapies exposes vulnerable individuals to both severe health hazards and financial ruin.
Admittedly, conventional medicine is not without its flaws. Hospital environments can be incredibly stressful, and modern doctors frequently lack the time to provide deep emotional support during short consultations. Consequently, the highly attentive, holistic approach offered by many alternative practitioners can yield a powerful ‘placebo effect,’ temporarily reducing stress and improving a patient’s overall mood. However, this psychological comfort must never be mistaken for a physiological cure.
In conclusion, while alternative therapies may offer minor stress relief as a complementary practice, utilizing them as a direct replacement for visiting a qualified medical doctor is a highly destructive trend. The undeniable lack of empirical evidence and the severe risk of fatal medical delays make the rising popularity of alternative medicine an overwhelmingly negative societal development.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Response: The essay perfectly addresses the prompt. It states a clear, strong opinion in the introduction, thoroughly defends why it is a negative development (medical danger, financial exploitation, lack of regulation), and gracefully acknowledges the minor psychological benefits (the placebo effect) without undermining the main argument.
- Coherence & Cohesion: The essay utilizes a highly effective four-paragraph structure. Transition phrases guide the reader effortlessly through the complex arguments (The primary and most severe consequence, Furthermore, Admittedly, Consequently, However, In conclusion).
- Lexical Resource: Showcases an exceptional, sophisticated vocabulary suited for a scientific and sociological discursive essay (conventional healthcare, evidence-based medical science, peer-reviewed, efficacy, life-saving interventions, financial exploitation, empirical evidence).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Uses a wide variety of complex grammatical structures perfectly, creating a highly persuasive, authoritative, and academic tone.
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