IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Police Budget in Britain
The Task:
The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
Police Budget 2017–2018 (in £m)
| Sources | 2017 | 2018 |
|---|---|---|
| National Government | 175.5m | 177.8m |
| Local Taxes | 91.2m | 102.3m |
| Other sources (eg grants) | 38m | 38.5m |
| Total | 304.7m | 318.6m |
How the money was spent
Task 1
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Band 9 Model Answer
The provided table and pie charts illustrate the sources of funding and the distribution of expenditure for a regional police force in Britain across the years 2017 and 2018.
Overall, the total police budget experienced a moderate increase over the two-year period, driven primarily by a significant rise in local tax revenue. Regarding expenditure, while staff salaries consistently consumed the vast majority of the budget, there was a noticeable shift in funding towards technological upgrades.
Looking specifically at the sources of income, the total budget grew from £304.7 million in 2017 to £318.6 million in 2018. The National Government remained the primary benefactor, contributing £175.5 million in 2017 and slightly more (£177.8 million) the following year. However, the most substantial growth came from local taxes, which surged from £91.2 million to £102.3 million. Meanwhile, income from other sources, such as grants, remained relatively static at approximately £38.5 million.
Turning to how the money was spent, the salaries of officers and staff accounted for exactly three-quarters (75%) of the total expenditure in 2017. Although this proportion dropped to 69% in 2018, it easily remained the dominant cost. To compensate for this percentage decrease, the allocation for technology almost doubled, rising sharply from 8% to 14%. The proportion of the budget spent on buildings and transport remained completely constant at exactly 17% in both years.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Achievement: The answer flawlessly summarizes both the table and the pie charts, completely replacing the grammatical errors of the original draft. The overview perfectly highlights the overarching financial trends (budget growth, tax increases, and the shift toward technology).
- Coherence & Cohesion: Paragraphs are logically organized by grouping the income data in one paragraph and the expenditure data in the next. Transition phrases are used naturally to guide the reader through the data sets (Regarding expenditure, Looking specifically at, However, Turning to how the money was spent).
- Lexical Resource: Uses precise, advanced vocabulary appropriate for describing financial data and budgets (regional police force, primary benefactor, surged, relatively static, dominant cost, allocation).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Employs a superb mix of complex sentence structures flawlessly (“Although this proportion dropped to 69% in 2018, it easily remained the dominant cost.”).
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 2: Children and Smartphones
The Task:
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.
Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Write at least 250 words.
Task 2
Band 9 Model Essay
In contemporary society, it is increasingly common to observe children spending several hours each day engrossed in their smartphones. This phenomenon is primarily driven by the highly addictive nature of digital entertainment and the immense peer pressure associated with social media. I firmly believe that this excessive screen time is an overwhelmingly negative development that poses severe risks to both the physical health and psychological well-being of the younger generation.
The primary reason children are captivated by smartphones is the deliberate design of modern digital applications. Tech companies utilize sophisticated algorithms to create infinitely scrolling social media feeds and highly engaging mobile games that trigger constant dopamine releases in the brain, effectively keeping young users hooked for hours. Furthermore, smartphones have become the central medium for adolescent peer interaction. For many teenagers, maintaining an active presence on platforms like Instagram or TikTok is viewed as socially mandatory; failing to participate often results in feelings of exclusion and isolation from their peer group. Consequently, the potent combination of addictive software and peer pressure makes it incredibly difficult for children to disconnect.
Despite the superficial benefits of digital connectivity, the resulting sedentary lifestyle carries profound negative consequences. Physically, excessive smartphone use directly correlates with rising global rates of childhood obesity, as hours previously spent engaging in outdoor sports or physical activities are now spent sitting indoors. Additionally, prolonged exposure to the blue light emitted by screens severely disrupts sleep patterns and frequently leads to long-term optical strain.
Psychologically, the impact is equally detrimental. Spending excessive time on social media exposes children to cyberbullying and highly unrealistic beauty standards, which frequently leads to severe anxiety, clinical depression, and low self-esteem. Moreover, relying exclusively on a screen for daily communication heavily stunts the development of vital face-to-face interpersonal skills, leaving many children ill-equipped to navigate real-world social and professional environments later in life.
In conclusion, the global surge in childhood smartphone addiction is fueled by manipulative app design and the powerful desire for social inclusion. I consider this a highly negative societal development, as the severe, long-lasting detriments to a child’s physical health and psychological development vastly outweigh the temporary entertainment value these devices provide.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Response: The essay perfectly addresses both questions in the prompt. It thoroughly explains why children spend hours on phones (addictive algorithms, peer pressure) and provides a strong, well-justified opinion on why it is negative (physical health decline, psychological damage, stunted social skills).
- Coherence & Cohesion: The essay utilizes a highly effective four-paragraph structure. Transition phrases guide the reader effortlessly through the complex arguments (The primary reason, Furthermore, Consequently, Despite the superficial benefits, Psychologically, In conclusion).
- Lexical Resource: Showcases an exceptional, sophisticated vocabulary suited for a technological and psychological discursive essay (engrossed, sophisticated algorithms, dopamine releases, socially mandatory, sedentary lifestyle, optical strain, vital face-to-face interpersonal skills).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Uses a wide variety of complex grammatical structures perfectly, creating a highly persuasive, authoritative, and academic tone.
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