IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Anthropology Graduates
The Task:
The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
Destination of Anthropology graduates (from one university)
Task 1
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Band 9 Model Answer
The provided pie chart delineates the career destinations of Anthropology graduates from a specific university immediately after completing their undergraduate studies, while the accompanying table compares the income brackets of these graduates across three employment sectors after five years in the workforce.
Overall, it is evident that the overwhelming majority of graduates successfully secured employment shortly after graduation. Furthermore, after five years of professional experience, those working as freelance consultants or within the government sector generally commanded significantly higher salaries compared to their counterparts in private companies.
Looking closely at the initial destinations of the graduates, over half (52%) entered full-time employment. A smaller proportion opted for part-time roles (15%), while an additional 5% combined work with postgraduate study. Only 8% of the cohort dedicated themselves entirely to full-time postgraduate education. Meanwhile, 12% of the graduates were registered as unemployed, and the destinations of the remaining 8% were unknown.
Turning to the financial remuneration after five years, freelance consultants and government employees enjoyed the most lucrative outcomes. An impressive 80% of freelance consultants and 80% of government workers earned $75,000 or more annually, with half (50%) of government employees earning in excess of $100,000. In stark contrast, salaries in the private sector were noticeably lower. Only 55% of private-sector employees reached the $75,000 threshold, while a significant 35% fell into the $50,000 to $74,999 bracket, making it the most common income range for that specific sector.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Achievement: The answer flawlessly summarizes both the pie chart and the table, completely correcting the inaccurate data reporting and repetitive phrasing of the original draft. The overview perfectly highlights the main trends (high employment rate and the salary disparity between sectors).
- Coherence & Cohesion: Paragraphs are logically organized. One paragraph focuses exclusively on the destinations (pie chart), while the next details the salary figures (table). Transition phrases are used naturally (Overall, Looking closely at, Meanwhile, Turning to the financial remuneration, In stark contrast).
- Lexical Resource: Uses precise, advanced vocabulary appropriate for describing employment and financial data (career destinations, overwhelming majority, financial remuneration, lucrative outcomes, threshold, income bracket).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Employs a superb mix of complex sentence structures flawlessly while maintaining highly accurate comparative phrasing (“…those working as freelance consultants… generally commanded significantly higher salaries compared to their counterparts…”).
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 2: Achieving Anything Through Hard Work
The Task:
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Write at least 250 words.
Task 2
Band 9 Model Essay
In many modern societies, a deeply ingrained cultural narrative dictates that relentless hard work and determination are the sole prerequisites for absolute success. Consequently, children are frequently raised with the message that they can achieve anything they set their minds to. While this meritocratic ideology effectively fosters vital resilience and ambition, I believe it also carries significant disadvantages, primarily by masking systemic inequalities and subjecting young people to immense psychological pressure.
The most prominent advantage of instilling this message in children is the cultivation of a robust “growth mindset.” When young individuals believe that their potential is limitless and directly tied to their own effort, they naturally become more ambitious, self-reliant, and motivated. Instead of viewing initial failures as permanent indicators of a lack of talent, they interpret them as temporary setbacks that can be overcome through perseverance. For instance, a student struggling with complex mathematics is much more likely to seek out extra tutoring and dedicate hours to studying if they genuinely believe that their diligence will ultimately result in mastery. This deeply ingrained optimism is essential for driving innovation and personal development.
However, preaching the idea of boundless opportunity through sheer effort presents severe disadvantages. Primarily, it completely ignores the reality of systemic societal barriers. Success is rarely determined by hard work alone; factors such as socioeconomic background, geographical location, and inherited wealth play undeniably massive roles in shaping a person’s life trajectory. Teaching children that effort guarantees success creates a harmful illusion. When individuals from marginalized backgrounds inevitably face systemic obstacles that hard work cannot easily dismantle, they may internalize the failure, believing they simply “did not try hard enough.”
Furthermore, this extreme pressure to succeed can lead to catastrophic mental health issues. The relentless pursuit of perfection, fueled by the belief that any goal is attainable, frequently results in chronic anxiety, severe burnout, and a profound sense of inadequacy among young adults who fall short of their lofty aspirations.
In conclusion, while teaching children that they can achieve anything through hard work undeniably builds resilience and a strong work ethic, it is a double-edged sword. To mitigate the disadvantages of chronic burnout and self-blame, parents and educators must temper this ambitious message with a realistic acknowledgment of systemic barriers, ensuring that children value the journey of trying just as much as the final achievement.
💡 Why this is a Band 9 Answer:
- Task Response: The essay perfectly addresses the prompt by thoroughly discussing both the advantages (growth mindset, resilience) and the disadvantages (ignoring systemic barriers, causing burnout). The conclusion provides a nuanced, mature reflection on how to balance this message.
- Coherence & Cohesion: The essay utilizes a highly effective four-paragraph structure. Transition phrases guide the reader effortlessly through the complex arguments (The most prominent advantage, Instead of viewing, However, Primarily, Furthermore, In conclusion).
- Lexical Resource: Showcases an exceptional, sophisticated vocabulary suited for a psychological and sociological discursive essay (meritocratic ideology, systemic inequalities, robust growth mindset, life trajectory, marginalized backgrounds, double-edged sword).
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: Uses a wide variety of complex grammatical structures perfectly, creating a highly persuasive, authoritative, and academic tone.
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